Thursday, January 28, 2010

to commit murder

Found this graffiti in Fitzroy Pl on a decrepit fence.

The painter ran out of paint halfway into doing this. Even worse is that their backup colour was motherfucking orange.

But who is Grant Hennings?

And what is section 26 of the Crimes Act? Well, it's a section entitled Conspiracy to Commit Murder and basically states that the punishment for this crime is 25 years imprisonment.

What did Mr Hennings do?







Wednesday, January 27, 2010

dashed expectations


Good God Small Club has the character of a seedy 70s Latino coke club that has waitresses in red + black fuck me frocks and a cards room upstairs, dimly lit because the cigars are so good.

But in reality Good God is overrated, empty before 12am and has tiny toilet cisterns dripping in piss – a real pain for ravers that like their chips salted.

And the doorbitch is ACTUALLY a bitch. Thought she was supposed to "put an act on" to make the club look "cool" and like it "doesn’t need you".

While i was there i had to get a mid-dance burger around 11pm. On the way back I saw It’s Free on this H-beam. Yes it is free sir, but not for the carload of douche-filters pulled over by this cop.

Got back into the club and saw Shit Robot do his tech-house thing. Seems my dashed expectations helped me appreciate how fresh and indie this club is. Almost like no one runs it.







Monday, January 25, 2010

a little too happy


Went to Beck's Festival Bar at Hyde Park Barracks on Friday to see Trevor Jackson and Aeroplane as part of the Sydney Festival.

Walked in and my night was made. After she gave me her number i saw this conceptual silent film projected on the facade of the barracks museum.

The display was as big as the building, with a profusion of psychedelic colours pulled straight from a packet of Jelly Bellys. 

The images were simple in conception but complexly designed. They flashed, smashed into jagged pieces, swirled like a sandstorm. Such drama needed a soundtrack and that's what it got with Trevor Jizzle's tech house mash-up before Aeroplane's Vito De Luca hosed the crowd down in his own cream.


Had a great boogie woogie on the dancefloor. Music was happy. I was happy. We were happy.

But the crowd was a little too cool. Outfits were a little too perfect. We were all a little too drunk. The smell of hydro wafted from a crowd of hipsters at the rear of the venue. Can't tell if they were from Newtown or the North Shore.

Miss u Mozman...


Seemed no one took much notice of this Midori and lemonade feature because they were too busy "connecting" with each other on a "deeper level" than sobriety could provide. The bubbles floated to the top of the building as inside a paleolithic schooner.

This building is where convicts, shipped from the motherland, were consigned to begin building Sydney.

They'd be so proud to see us now.







Friday, January 22, 2010

PRO ANYTHING

Where is the scene? Where are the cultural movements? Surry Hills, what has happened to you? What was once a bustling art and music crowd, who previously competed to out-style, out-move and out-party each other on every level and in doing so developed an unpredictable and original movement for the fashion-istas to feed from, is now stagnant and unrecognizable.

A few years ago when I moved to the city from the south coast it seemed no matter what night of the week it was you could walk the streets of this cultural hub and stumble into a raging house party or free-boozing gallery opening and be inspired by the new and interesting people and their innovative ideas. Over the past year those quirky underground nights have slowly disappeared and with it the once artistically snowballing scene, has been replaced by business studying fashion followers. Have the pioneers of those days lost faith and gone underground when their unique niche got too crowded, or is their a deeper reason for this unfortunate change?

The main issue seems to be a distinct lack of pro-active thought. The kids of Surry Hills are an eclectic bunch to say the least and the answer to our problem is among them. The people who are going to reinvigorate the scene aren’t the designer label clad wankers in thousand dollar Incu jackets and thousand dollar hand made leather shoes, nor is it the upper class North Shore kids who dress down in Cream On Crown uniforms and samurai inspired hairstyles, it’s the quirky artists and eccentric muso’s avoiding the “in areas”. I’m not saying it’s limited to these categories of people at all, what I’m saying is bring on more of the weirdo’s and less predictability. Graffiti artists, fashion designers, graphic designers, dj’s, drugged out fashion models, junkies, hippies; these are the people that drove your hazy subculture coke and condoms fuelled nights at places like the old China Heights gallery, Health Club, Ox Arts, Hollywood, Thursday Nights Live at 77, and the Manner.

 Everyone’s heard about recent changes to liquor licensing laws to promote small bars. Could the popping up of a few trendy bars have achieved the paradox of its goal by reducing our inner-city culture? I mean, by providing an area of attractive coolness have we really just provided an area for the ‘i-wanna-be-seen-looking-cool’ herd to culminate? I’m sick to death of Sydney’s shiny, plastic, recently refurbished bar scene. Leave the grunge. Leave the dank. That’s the character and atmosphere we’re all craving and having a place to hang out, shoot the breeze and enjoy reasonably priced drinks is a good place to breed active-thought. 

Don’t slit your wrists just yet boys and girls, the well of opportunity is still half full. Put down the razor and pick up a guitar, a paintbrush, a spray can, or a hammer and go create something. Go destroy something. Get passionate about a community issue and do something about it! Sex, drugs and rock n’ roll will never die so keep your ear to the ground because there are still wild warehouse parties and late night beach parties, it’s just that the once notorious Surry Hills events have shifted more often toward newer low-key areas like Marrickville, St Peters and Redfern. Maybe I’m being over melodramatic and everything’s really OK and the scene is as strong as it has ever been and I, as an individual have just missed the eight ball so in conclusion I’ll finish by just saying the possibilities are endless, so get out there and start rattling cages, rocking boats and getting all anti-establishment n’ shit.

 







Thursday, January 21, 2010

wild things

I saw Where the Wild Things Are at the Moonlight Cinema last night. Enjoyed the "branch feature" in front of the screen. Was "part of the experience". Felt like i was in the movie, felt like a Wild Thing - felt a sense of verisimilitude.

The movie took me to my childhood. Remembered reading the book and wondering why Max wore a wolf costume and hung out with monsters. Wanted to be avant-garde like him - a real hipster.

At the film's climax ppl in the crowd sniffed and wiped away tears. When it ended we all got up and walked home through Centennial Park.

Much of the movie was filmed in Melbourne. The landscapes used in the movie are sparse. Like much of Australia, flat terrain and lanky eucalypts populated the characters' dream world.

As we walked through the park the eucalypts and monochromatic light used in the film sat in every direction like gallery frames.

Were were in Max's world.

The grey moon wept as i remembered my burning face being pushed into grass by an older boy when i was nine, intense butterflies when my heel-wearing Year 2 teacher wore mini-skirts and singing a love song i wrote when i was six, after my mum introduced me to The Beatles.

Then it occured to me the car was very far from the cinema, and i became a man again.







Monday, January 18, 2010

should i have paid?

Stumbled home from Oxford St the other night, five beers in my right hand and one in my left.

Noticed “it’s free” scribbled all around Bourke St. Not sure what it means. Don’t think it matters.

Are the objects it’s written on ‘free’, in the sense that a gutter/pole/footpath is owned by the state?

Is the urban landscape we live in a ‘commune’?

Is the materialism and personal branding of hipsters ‘hollow’?

Should we stop paying for BJs?







Saturday, January 16, 2010

to get pumped

Howdy partner. Don’t even consider for a dagnammin’ minute parkin’ in front o’ Surry Hills Stables on Little Bourke St.

Otherwise i’ma pump yer ass like the last red indian that passed on through harr.

Ever chew terbacca with a smith & wesson in ur mouth/up ur ass?







Thursday, January 14, 2010

sydney festival = no, you can't have my number

Went to Sydney Festival First Night at the weekend. Was lame for anyone under 25 or "looking for penis/vag".

Hyde Park was packed. The Domain was at capacity. Everyone was out to see world music. But it wasn't actually world music, it was music from different parts of the world no one understood.

I was bummed with the lineup at first, but i'm glad there was no crossover between this and any of the major festivals - unlike last year. A-Trak, DJ Mehdi, Busy P et al. were already in town in early 09 so were invited to First Night. This made 15-year-old ping-heads turn out in (w)hordes.

Sweet laser show in Hyde Park though. Looked like something from Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen.

A series of these lasers beamed up into the trees and their green rays became spliced between leaves and branches. Accompanied by smoke machines and a tribal soundtrack, this presentation really took me to another place (wanting to pee so bad).

Miss u Al Green...

Miss u 2K9...







Wednesday, January 13, 2010

use me like a scaffold



Found a graffiti series on Foley St recently while traipsing the streets with Arpeggiate Me, the newest Acid Midget recruit. We saw this confused donkey cartoon in a doorway. Looks like a Sydney Morning Herald caricature of a clumsy politician. Thinking this donkey is how Senator Penny Wong might’ve felt after the non-binding Copenhagen Accord was signed. Miss u Penny…



When you see this stencil chicken you’ll spend five minutes thinking about how someone got up there and painted it. This street artist is either pulling midnight ladder tricks or using cars like scaffolding.



Here is another squiggle face. Not sure if the artist is getting better, worse, that i’m finding them in the wrong order, or if it’s a case of ______.



This skull is painted on an upside-down page pulled from a phone book. I found one in Surry Hills a while back.

I heard some prints like this are glued to walls using a flour/water mixture. I also heard that if it rains in an alleyway, you’re probably getting pissed on.







Friday, January 8, 2010

gimme an i!



Darlinghurst Nights has reported on alphabet tags that are popping up all over Sydney. I came across this one on Bourke St. Love In Flagranti like I love croissants and Café Zoe. They do nu-disco like Obama does "being an African-American president in a largely white government".

What would 'i' be to you?







Thursday, January 7, 2010

me, ok



“Come into my garage and let me service your Volkswagon/Toyota/wife. Then your dollars will be magically swallowed in the vortex of my corruption.”







Saturday, January 2, 2010

miss u hoey


The sudden closure of the Hopetoun Hotel in September created a rift in Sydney’s live music scene.

It's still unclear what's going to happen, but what's certain is the public outpouring for it to reopen.

Gig-goers and hipsters have asked all the questions - has it been bought yet? Did council demanded safety upgrades, coupled with the GFC, lead to its insolvency? Are the owners too busy on TweetBook? Are pokies the only reason people went there? Does my ass look better in denim or custard?

Everyone’s still waiting for a resolution.

 

In the interim the building has become a shrine to “remembering a venue bands got their first gig at”.

Here are comments written on boards nailed to the hotel's doors:

- Royal commission required!!

- I love Hoey xxx

- The Toun needs its Hope back!

- How many more Clover?

- Who needs CCTV anyway? It’s crap.

- It’s all love baby – the rest is just filler!!

- Love Hoey

- Hoey – the safest pub in Sydney

- New York never sleeps – Sydney snores!!

This situation is obviously difficut to resolve. Might need some buzz marketing, like FBi Radio's Ask Richard campaign. The owners need to get some shit happening.

 

Snapped this print next to the Hoey on Bourke St. The artist portrays four figures facing the hotel within a fragmented, psychedelic landscape.

Two figures look like Street Judges dragging along a pair of unshaven accountants/lawyers marked by their evanescent pallor.

Could this be what really happened the day the Hoey closed?