Dude 1: Dude, why you wearing only one shoe?
Dude 2: The other one had to go.
D1: What? You got rid of it?
D2: Yeah. Left it on Little Oxford St on the way back from The Columbian. Only so many blowjobs I can give in a pair of trainers. After squatting 1000 times they tend to lock up.
D1: So did you walk home with a missing shoe?
D2: Nah, the guy I fellated like a broken vacuum pump gave me a ride home. I couldn’t really see after we were done.
D1: Dude, need to borrow a pair of mine?
D2: Pfft, don’t be ridiculous. Every pair you have is locked up too.